The Lake Weekend Survival Guide: What to Pack, What to Leave, and What to Lie About
You’ve got the invite. You’ve got the weekend off. You’ve got friends texting “who’s bringing ice?” like it’s a group mission.
It’s lake weekend — and if you’re doing it right, you’re not coming back the same.
So before you load up the truck or trailer, here’s your official Trash Lake Survival Guide for the perfect weekend of chaos, sunburn, and unforgettable (maybe regrettable) memories.
🔥 What to Pack (The Essentials)
1. Trash Lake Apparel (Non-Negotiable)
You need at least one Certified Lake Trash tee or Barely Legal tank. Bonus points for having a backup after the first one gets soaked in beer or lake water.
2. Beer, Booze, and Backup Booze
Never — ever — trust someone who says “we’ll just pick some up on the way.” You won’t. Stock up now.
3. Sunscreen (Even if You’ll Ignore It)
We get it, you “don’t burn.” Yeah, you said that last time too, lobster boy.
4. Towels That Don’t Match
Matching towels are for people with boat loans and responsibilities. Bring the one that’s been in your trunk since last summer.
5. Speaker + Charger + Backup Charger
Because the moment the music dies, so does the vibe.
6. Snacks That Don’t Melt
Chips, jerky, and anything you can eat with one hand while holding a drink in the other.
🚫 What to Leave Behind
1. White Shoes
They’ll be brown by the end of the day. Don’t even try.
2. Your Diet
Calories don’t count on the lake. If you say “I’m eating clean,” you’re not invited.
3. Fancy Outfits
If it can’t survive a beer spill, boat gas, and a cannonball, it doesn’t belong here.
4. Expectations of Sleep
Between bonfires, boat rides, and bad ideas, sleep is just a rumor.
🤫 What to Lie About
1. “I Didn’t Fall In.”
We all saw you. Just own it.
2. “That’s Not My Beer.”
Sure it’s not. But you’re drinking it now, so it is.
3. “I’ll Be There in 5 Minutes.”
You’re still packing. You’re not even close. We respect the hustle, though.
💚 Final Tip: Don’t Overthink It
The best lake weekends aren’t the ones that go to plan — they’re the ones that fall apart perfectly.
So pack light, bring your Trash Lake gear, and remember:
You can’t spell “legendary weekend” without “trash.”